Understanding my boss?

Today sure was a difficult day. My boss spoke to me in a way he has never done before. He didn't necessarily scream at me nor was he in the least unrespecftul, but he sure noticed I felt bad; I mean, I'm very expressive in the face. I just respect him so much, you know? And curiously, I'm fond of him a lot, in a way he'll never know. I'm always blessing him and desiring in my heart that things will work for him. I bet he has no idea, because it's such an uncommon thing, But I think he noticed I felt so bad for he was in a way, like always, but much more noticeable this time, padding my hair in a very fatherly way like he always does and he called me my love, which he ONLY does in very rare ocasions, like when he feels like he needs to be patronizing... So I am trying to understand him, he's such a complicated person, and I'm the only one who understands him, and he feels this too, because he said it himself, and I feel this too, for not everybody understands his personality. It's funny, because I understand him so well, I wonder why would that be. I felt like screaming to him: IM ON YOUR SIDE! REMEMBER??? PLS DONT FORGET THAT!!!!!!! I think he felt guilty though. And, I think a lot in him, and it's strange, because I don't feel attracted to him at all, nor do I have a crush on him. And, I don't really admire him, but I respect him so much and it's not a very common thing for me to feel respect like this for just anyone. He's more like a parental figure, you know, like an authority, and I think the feeling is mutual, I think he sees me like a child and kind of daughter like, I mean, just by the way he pads me! I always feel awkward, at least a little, but it's very nice.

Sometimes though, like today, I feel... used. Is used the right word in this case? You know, why did I felt used? He's so stupid sometimes, doesnt he has a clue how valuable I am to him? Was I too annoying today? Am I an annoying person?

Today was the first day I felt like I didn't want to be anybody's assistant anymore. Ironic, huh? I used to feel like that everyday in my previous job, and this is my first time in this one.

I felt like I was losing my time, you know? How could that be possible if I'am very productive there.

Well, I just thought for that tiny moment like my time is only valuable if someone truly apreciates it, and it didnt feel that way. So, was I losing my time today?